InGratitude

Regrets are sparks of fire that pile up, waiting to be cleared by showers of gratitude. The question I keep asking myself is:

Have I thanked enough for what I have received?

I have been bestowed with plenty: cared for, nurtured, fed, educated, and instilled with gems of wisdom. Being on the receiving end, did I ever pay back my debts of gratitude, or even think of giving back? How often did I even consider it, or did the thought only hit me once my angels were gone? Such is the ungrateful state I find myself in—realization arriving all on its own, only in hindsight.

So my remorse goes: “This was one huge missed ‘Thank you for all that you’ve done!’”

I remember the effortless comfort of childhood: hot meals waiting before hunger even struck, lunch lovingly brought to school, and a home filled with warmth and healthy choices. When friends weren’t around, family stepped in seamlessly, turning regular evenings into pure fun with carrom, antakshari, cricket matches, and movies.

Just as steady was the not-so-quiet guidance. It was an environment of subtle discipline, curious questions to test my learning, and timeless life lessons passed down naturally—all built on thousands of little, everyday sacrifices I only truly appreciate now.

I dearly miss that warmth of love. The memories keep pulling me into a bottomless sea—hard to swim out and come up for air. Maybe that’s what sorrow is: a whirlpool. It is what I am left to bear, carrying the burden of my own past ingratitude.

The question is: How do I trudge forward from here?

Wisdom from the ONE:

Know your karma. It truly belongs to you.

My actions are driven by my thoughts, and my thoughts are shaped by my environment and state of mind—my energy, health, connections, knowledge, and past experiences. What drove me yesterday might not drive me today, and what didn’t move me then might move me now.

Inculcate gratitude. Direct it inward first, then outward.

I am deeply grateful to have known you and to have shared such a meaningful part of my life with you. Where would I even be without you?

I am so glad my kids had the chance to play with you and feel that same warmth.

Most of all, I take comfort knowing that you will always remain with me—my north star, Marish <3